Ever had an embarrassing run in with someone you haven't seen in a long time? How about you make a complete and utter romantic moment into the grossest moment in your life? Or what about the time you humiliated yourself in front of a large crowd of people?
Madame Danni has your #1 solutions to almost all of the MOST embarrassing things that could ever happen to you.
1. What if you forget someone's name?
Well, that's easy, avoid the subject altogether and ask them to remind how to PRONOUNCE their names. eg. "I'm sorry, how do you pronounce your name again?... KA-thy... Kathy, right! Emphasis on the first syllable."
2. What if your fly is undone and someone rudely points it out?
A little trickier. You could make some naughty comment about a waitress/waiter in the broomcloset, but if said someone who rudely pointed out your "open barn doors" was say, a kid, then close up shop and take on the classical Tramp a la Charlie Chaplin. Shrug your shoulders and say "Whoops!"
3. What if you fumble your words by accident?
Situation one: The polite conversation.
If you say to your friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/significant other/etc. "Do you want to fuck?" rather than what you were TRYING to say "Do you want the fork?" guage their reaction. Always excuse yourself. If they give you the "look" make some funny comment such as, "Well spooning usually forking, wouldn't you say?" If they give you the "other look" go back and eat your pasta.
Situation two: Screaming out the wrong name while having sex.
You're screwed if you make a joke. Answer calmly and (if they were an ex boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/significant other/etc.) stick to what career they have
E.g. "Silvia is my_" ex-gym partner/ex ice skating partner/ex agent/ex nude model/ex art instructor/ex massuse/etc.
4. What if you want to make a good impression with your in-laws?
Luckily for me, the inlaws have (so far) liked me. But if they're the kind that think you are the wrong kind of person for they're son or daughter. Remember these tips to wining over Ma and Pa-in-law.
-Remember that the in-laws are more scared of you than they are of them. Be friendly, kind, and more importantly, yourself. Don't make any sudden movements or stare them in the eye. They're like animals.
-Keep in mind that (if you are the same sex as your partner) not everyone is open-minded and some comments may arise. Don't take everything personally, they're trying their best. You may say somethings that may offend them to keep the field even. Hehe!
-Keep in mind also that (if you partner has lots of money) that you will be included in the will at some point, so a little sucking up helps. E.g. "Mrs. Martin, your prize winning rosebush just takes my breath away." Or "Mr. Burns is that a new cologne? Calvin Klein suits you."
-Eat carrots; they help you see better.
-Don't forget to show the folks how much you'll be there for their child... some parents want to know their little boy/girl/both that they will be cared for and loved.
5. What if you dial the wrong number on the phone and there's an awkward silence?
Somehow find out if their not a total creeper and invite them out for coffee. You can never make too many friends, nor can there be too much coffee. There's a blessing in every encounter.
6. What if you're waiting to meet someone and you mistake that person for the person you're waiting for?
It's not the end of the world. Apologize and then resume waiting... if you've been waiting for more than an hour though, leave. There's no point.
7. What if you lose $500, 000 Deal or No Deal in the first round?
Wait for the best offer the Banker makes and take it (At least 6 figures)!
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
The Woes and Sorrows of the North American Housewife
Note from the author: *A Work of Fiction*
So one day way back, circa 1950 or something, when I was "younger", I got a letter from this sweet young housewife. Now I have a problem with names and when I think of this letter, I completely forget it... so we'll just call her Jane. Here's her letter:
Dear Danni,
I have a problem with my husband. Now I know what you're thinking, but it's not what you think it is. My husband Howard treats me like a house servant. When we met he treated me like a princess, he took me out to nice dinners, we went to the latest movies (Camille was by far the best movie I ever saw!) and he bought me the nicest dresses I could ever dream of. Now I cook half-burned grocery store food, watch reruns on tv, and the nicest thing he bought me was a new mop. I cook, I clean, and I take care of our six kids. What can I do?
Signed, Looking-Un-Comfortable-Yet
I duely replied...
LUCY,
You're problem is very relatable for a lot of wives out there. He suffering from a sever case of what is called, marriage. Frank Sinatra said it best when he said "love and marraige go together like a horse and carriage." It's a convinience, my dear. Some men start off being Prince Charming, but then they just end up being toads... and the scary thing is you don't want to kiss them again... EVER. As for who is to blame, it certainly isn't his, nor yours for that matter. The fault is to the person who instigated the idea of marriage... I would say it was the priest or pastor who married you, but I don't dare deal in political or religious scandals. No, I blame the parents personally. They should be held responsible for your misery. They should have taught him how to better behave in a marital situation. I mean why treat you like Cinderella out of the ball, when he should be treating you like Cinderella at the ball. Now for the solution. My dear, you can jump-start his cold pulse by rekindleing the romance. Go to a clothing store. Nothing to fancy, maybe Macy's and by some sexy lingerie... and maybe a crop whip. The rest you can figure out on your own, but just remember to teach him who his "Mama" is.
Best of Luck,
Danni.
****
Okay, obviously not the best advice I'm given, but do I look like Ask Agnes? Not at all. Well, a few months later, I recieved a letter from LUCY again. She said she thanked me very much for the advice, and that it worked like a charm. Her and her husband and children have moved out of Howard's parents house and into a nicely sized apartments. Her children are in a good school instead of being home-schooled. And LUCY's staying at home has even gotten her the job of being a dominatrix. Boy that little crop whip sure gest around. But moral of the story is, don't give advice unless you know what you're talking about. I'm not married, nor do I have children, so who am I to give advice to a poor 1950's wife.
And as a side note, if you think Camille is a good movie (not that I've seen it or anything) then you MUST be really really really old!
Until next we meet, my readers.
So one day way back, circa 1950 or something, when I was "younger", I got a letter from this sweet young housewife. Now I have a problem with names and when I think of this letter, I completely forget it... so we'll just call her Jane. Here's her letter:
Dear Danni,
I have a problem with my husband. Now I know what you're thinking, but it's not what you think it is. My husband Howard treats me like a house servant. When we met he treated me like a princess, he took me out to nice dinners, we went to the latest movies (Camille was by far the best movie I ever saw!) and he bought me the nicest dresses I could ever dream of. Now I cook half-burned grocery store food, watch reruns on tv, and the nicest thing he bought me was a new mop. I cook, I clean, and I take care of our six kids. What can I do?
Signed, Looking-Un-Comfortable-Yet
I duely replied...
LUCY,
You're problem is very relatable for a lot of wives out there. He suffering from a sever case of what is called, marriage. Frank Sinatra said it best when he said "love and marraige go together like a horse and carriage." It's a convinience, my dear. Some men start off being Prince Charming, but then they just end up being toads... and the scary thing is you don't want to kiss them again... EVER. As for who is to blame, it certainly isn't his, nor yours for that matter. The fault is to the person who instigated the idea of marriage... I would say it was the priest or pastor who married you, but I don't dare deal in political or religious scandals. No, I blame the parents personally. They should be held responsible for your misery. They should have taught him how to better behave in a marital situation. I mean why treat you like Cinderella out of the ball, when he should be treating you like Cinderella at the ball. Now for the solution. My dear, you can jump-start his cold pulse by rekindleing the romance. Go to a clothing store. Nothing to fancy, maybe Macy's and by some sexy lingerie... and maybe a crop whip. The rest you can figure out on your own, but just remember to teach him who his "Mama" is.
Best of Luck,
Danni.
****
Okay, obviously not the best advice I'm given, but do I look like Ask Agnes? Not at all. Well, a few months later, I recieved a letter from LUCY again. She said she thanked me very much for the advice, and that it worked like a charm. Her and her husband and children have moved out of Howard's parents house and into a nicely sized apartments. Her children are in a good school instead of being home-schooled. And LUCY's staying at home has even gotten her the job of being a dominatrix. Boy that little crop whip sure gest around. But moral of the story is, don't give advice unless you know what you're talking about. I'm not married, nor do I have children, so who am I to give advice to a poor 1950's wife.
And as a side note, if you think Camille is a good movie (not that I've seen it or anything) then you MUST be really really really old!
Until next we meet, my readers.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Urinetown the Musical
I've heard some very interesting news... Consider:
What would happen if the water was gone? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever wondered what it would be like?
Statistics show that the most water is used with toilets and urinals, both public and private. Now imagine that your bathroom has been permanently removed and your government has announced toilets would be privatized... in other words, you have to pay to pee.
Urinetown the Musical is based on this idea.
Caldwell B. Cladwell, the man who is charge of the dirtiest, filthiest public amenity in town and a smooth-talking senator, Fipp, plot to raise the price for the use of the public urinal.
The plots goes and we learn that those who don't pay the pee-fee... they are sent to Urinetown. "A metaphysical place of sorts" or so the locals say. Nobody knows what awaits Urinetown, all live in fear of the phantom town... known as Urinetown!
If this weren't enough, Bobby not only falls in love with Cladwell's only flesh-and-blood daughter, Hope Cladwell, leads a protest with the poor people of the town, to fight against Cladwell and his money-grubbing Urine Good Company (U.G.C.) crew.
The show has been successful off-Broadway, then on Broadway... recently it played in Vancouver, and now the relatively small but talent-laden town of Summerland, B.C. has taken on the task of putting on this show.
The cast is small, with several leads playing in the chorus as well. These are definately a talented bunch as they all participate in almost every single scene and musical number throughout the show. Rehearsals are coming to a close and the show is about to go on, everyone is now feeling the pressure now that we're coming down to the crunch...
Now Consider:
What are you doing in the week of august 4th to the 8th? What could you be doing? You could be sitting home watching the same old boring television... or...
You could be watching an epic struggle for life, liberty and freedom... to pee! See a colorful bunch of characters fight against an oppressive company plotting to take away man's one and only sacred right... watch as man struggles to free their porcelain throne! And yes... it's family friendly!
Okay enough of the jokes... the show runs August 4-8 all 8pm showings. Tickets are $15 at the door or at the Sweet Tooth located in downtown Summerland!!!
What would happen if the water was gone? Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever wondered what it would be like?
Statistics show that the most water is used with toilets and urinals, both public and private. Now imagine that your bathroom has been permanently removed and your government has announced toilets would be privatized... in other words, you have to pay to pee.
Urinetown the Musical is based on this idea.
Caldwell B. Cladwell, the man who is charge of the dirtiest, filthiest public amenity in town and a smooth-talking senator, Fipp, plot to raise the price for the use of the public urinal.
The plots goes and we learn that those who don't pay the pee-fee... they are sent to Urinetown. "A metaphysical place of sorts" or so the locals say. Nobody knows what awaits Urinetown, all live in fear of the phantom town... known as Urinetown!
If this weren't enough, Bobby not only falls in love with Cladwell's only flesh-and-blood daughter, Hope Cladwell, leads a protest with the poor people of the town, to fight against Cladwell and his money-grubbing Urine Good Company (U.G.C.) crew.
The show has been successful off-Broadway, then on Broadway... recently it played in Vancouver, and now the relatively small but talent-laden town of Summerland, B.C. has taken on the task of putting on this show.
The cast is small, with several leads playing in the chorus as well. These are definately a talented bunch as they all participate in almost every single scene and musical number throughout the show. Rehearsals are coming to a close and the show is about to go on, everyone is now feeling the pressure now that we're coming down to the crunch...
Now Consider:
What are you doing in the week of august 4th to the 8th? What could you be doing? You could be sitting home watching the same old boring television... or...
You could be watching an epic struggle for life, liberty and freedom... to pee! See a colorful bunch of characters fight against an oppressive company plotting to take away man's one and only sacred right... watch as man struggles to free their porcelain throne! And yes... it's family friendly!
Okay enough of the jokes... the show runs August 4-8 all 8pm showings. Tickets are $15 at the door or at the Sweet Tooth located in downtown Summerland!!!
Monday, June 8, 2009
The Trouble with Men
The trouble with men is they don't know how to communicate how they feel. We may fall in love with them at first sight, hate their guts one minute until they do something nice another, or even just be a best friend but not matter what, depending on the guy, most men will not admit to their true feelings. They're like people with clam shells. Do anything "scary" and they shut right up.
This is especially so with gay men. All they want is sex and they will stop at nothing to get it. Although in my case, I'm surrounded by straight men and would love to do them! Although their girlfriends would have something to say and I would lose more friends that way. It's complicated. Although most straight men are okay with gay men, men do know what other men want. Which is sex. So I can understand, from a homophobic standpoint how a straight man would want to avoid a gay man. Then again if men helped each other out I think that would be a step closer to world peace.
There are three words that I have used and have heard that have been used that can scare off a man. Guaranteed.
Love: Saying I love you is one of the most scary things a man can hear. Especially after sex. I myself am now developing the ability to separate sex and love, which is a shame because they should be related. I mean if the majority of straight couples can get it right, I'm sure it's not brain surgery for the rest of us. There's a difference between jerking off and love and a man doesn't want to be loved just for jerking off, let me tell you that. I sure don't. I don't need someone saying "Oh I love you!" after just a quick session... look if I really loved you, I'd make it super special and memorable, we wouldn't be hear in a dark alley honey!
Relationship: Not so much a scary word but most single men do try to avoid this. I mean they're free free free until whoops they're in this complicated thing with another human being. Relationships do relate to resposiblity; they'll have to clean up after themselves and *gasp* take out the grabage! I can relate! I mean I absolutely care about appearances now but there was a time where I didn't do my laundry for two weeks, tops! Think men preferr friendships rather than relationships... relationships have things like obedience, engagement, shopping, and romance, where friendships have strippers, beer, laughing. Sounds like more fun if you're into that.
Commitment: This isn't so much a scary word as it is a trainable quality. Men can commit to something like snow can commit to sunlight. It's gonna be a little difficult. I mean the sun can tell the snow "I wanna see you," and it will stay, but then the snow gets hard and crunchy which sucks to make snowmen. And if you can't make snowmen, how in the hell are your hillbilly neighbours going to blow it up with the rest of their dynomite, tape it, and then send it to America's funniest home videos? Impossible! Okay so my own family won't have a fun holiday, but it's all the sun's fault. Okay, enough metaphors. What I'm trying to get at is most men who aren't looking for a good solid relationship are gonna avoid commitment.
These things aren't all bad things. It's what makes them appealing, attracting and charming. Boys, be proud that you are what you are. Not all of you are like this messed up son of a bitch... I mean if you have any kind of irrational fear of love, relationship and commitment, I'm not doctor, but i reccomend some professional help. But we (everyone who likes boys anyway) like that and we want them more. A fact of basic human nature; what we can't get, we want desperately. Like flies on a dead animal; we only have so long till it spoils, dig in!
I naturally fall for this type of messed up kind of person. Unfortunately this boyfriend with his
excess baggage should be put on the next train to ex-boyfriend ville!
After all this has been said though, there are two guys who I have had the pleasure to meet in my lifetime. Brothers they are, but they are the best friends in the world and both are happy in their current relationships. Let me just say that they are both equally good looking but both are tragically, terminally straight... story of my fucking life!
One of them I've recently hung out with, he's the younger one. He's a sweetheart, an angel and I just love him to death. Laughs at anything I say, that's supposed to be funny anyway, and is completely adorable. He's told me about one old flame, in which he was forced into a lot of things. In fact his appearance has beared the brunt of it, I'm sure. But even after all that, he proposed. P-R-O-P-O-S-E-D! That's huge! I'm proud of him for the fact that he had the guts to do that! 20 years old, you know what you want, so you propose! WOW! Great! And what does she do? Says no and leaves him. What. The. Fuck? He's now happily in a new relationship (hasn't proposed yet) but both are my dear, dear friends and I hope they last a long time.
The other is the older brother and I haven't hung out with him in ages... okay almost a year, but I think I can facebook stalk him, and probably text him or email him. I'm above that but I'm not beneath that either. He's never told me about his past relationship but a what I think is a huge thing that he said was... if he were gay, he would totally go out with me. It was nice but a little torturing at the same time, so I said "why aren't you?" He's also a sweetie and I'm glad to have him in my life, even if he isn't my life partner, knowing that he would like to gives me a little hope.
On that note, I hope for a lot of things. I hope for equality of people. I hope for no more wars. I hope to be a huge sucess. I hope for marriage. I hope for a big FABULOUS wedding gown. I hope for happiness. I hope for a future as bright and as sunny as today is goingto be. With blue skies, love, laughter... a little more sequins. I hope for brotherhood, sisterhood, cousinhood, parenthood, childhood, neighbourhood, ganghood, hoodhood, and hoodies to never die out as time goes by. I hope they all last through a big wash and rinse cycle I like to call "life" and never fade.
Until next time.
This is especially so with gay men. All they want is sex and they will stop at nothing to get it. Although in my case, I'm surrounded by straight men and would love to do them! Although their girlfriends would have something to say and I would lose more friends that way. It's complicated. Although most straight men are okay with gay men, men do know what other men want. Which is sex. So I can understand, from a homophobic standpoint how a straight man would want to avoid a gay man. Then again if men helped each other out I think that would be a step closer to world peace.
There are three words that I have used and have heard that have been used that can scare off a man. Guaranteed.
Love: Saying I love you is one of the most scary things a man can hear. Especially after sex. I myself am now developing the ability to separate sex and love, which is a shame because they should be related. I mean if the majority of straight couples can get it right, I'm sure it's not brain surgery for the rest of us. There's a difference between jerking off and love and a man doesn't want to be loved just for jerking off, let me tell you that. I sure don't. I don't need someone saying "Oh I love you!" after just a quick session... look if I really loved you, I'd make it super special and memorable, we wouldn't be hear in a dark alley honey!
Relationship: Not so much a scary word but most single men do try to avoid this. I mean they're free free free until whoops they're in this complicated thing with another human being. Relationships do relate to resposiblity; they'll have to clean up after themselves and *gasp* take out the grabage! I can relate! I mean I absolutely care about appearances now but there was a time where I didn't do my laundry for two weeks, tops! Think men preferr friendships rather than relationships... relationships have things like obedience, engagement, shopping, and romance, where friendships have strippers, beer, laughing. Sounds like more fun if you're into that.
Commitment: This isn't so much a scary word as it is a trainable quality. Men can commit to something like snow can commit to sunlight. It's gonna be a little difficult. I mean the sun can tell the snow "I wanna see you," and it will stay, but then the snow gets hard and crunchy which sucks to make snowmen. And if you can't make snowmen, how in the hell are your hillbilly neighbours going to blow it up with the rest of their dynomite, tape it, and then send it to America's funniest home videos? Impossible! Okay so my own family won't have a fun holiday, but it's all the sun's fault. Okay, enough metaphors. What I'm trying to get at is most men who aren't looking for a good solid relationship are gonna avoid commitment.
These things aren't all bad things. It's what makes them appealing, attracting and charming. Boys, be proud that you are what you are. Not all of you are like this messed up son of a bitch... I mean if you have any kind of irrational fear of love, relationship and commitment, I'm not doctor, but i reccomend some professional help. But we (everyone who likes boys anyway) like that and we want them more. A fact of basic human nature; what we can't get, we want desperately. Like flies on a dead animal; we only have so long till it spoils, dig in!
I naturally fall for this type of messed up kind of person. Unfortunately this boyfriend with his
excess baggage should be put on the next train to ex-boyfriend ville!
After all this has been said though, there are two guys who I have had the pleasure to meet in my lifetime. Brothers they are, but they are the best friends in the world and both are happy in their current relationships. Let me just say that they are both equally good looking but both are tragically, terminally straight... story of my fucking life!
One of them I've recently hung out with, he's the younger one. He's a sweetheart, an angel and I just love him to death. Laughs at anything I say, that's supposed to be funny anyway, and is completely adorable. He's told me about one old flame, in which he was forced into a lot of things. In fact his appearance has beared the brunt of it, I'm sure. But even after all that, he proposed. P-R-O-P-O-S-E-D! That's huge! I'm proud of him for the fact that he had the guts to do that! 20 years old, you know what you want, so you propose! WOW! Great! And what does she do? Says no and leaves him. What. The. Fuck? He's now happily in a new relationship (hasn't proposed yet) but both are my dear, dear friends and I hope they last a long time.
The other is the older brother and I haven't hung out with him in ages... okay almost a year, but I think I can facebook stalk him, and probably text him or email him. I'm above that but I'm not beneath that either. He's never told me about his past relationship but a what I think is a huge thing that he said was... if he were gay, he would totally go out with me. It was nice but a little torturing at the same time, so I said "why aren't you?" He's also a sweetie and I'm glad to have him in my life, even if he isn't my life partner, knowing that he would like to gives me a little hope.
On that note, I hope for a lot of things. I hope for equality of people. I hope for no more wars. I hope to be a huge sucess. I hope for marriage. I hope for a big FABULOUS wedding gown. I hope for happiness. I hope for a future as bright and as sunny as today is goingto be. With blue skies, love, laughter... a little more sequins. I hope for brotherhood, sisterhood, cousinhood, parenthood, childhood, neighbourhood, ganghood, hoodhood, and hoodies to never die out as time goes by. I hope they all last through a big wash and rinse cycle I like to call "life" and never fade.
Until next time.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Fabu-Tastic Icons
I've yet to write anything about drag icons and my own personal infulences. So depending on how long this takes this is dedicated to the fabulous "women" of drag!
So these lovely ladies are my influences as well as just plain fantastic. The majority of these ladies can be googled...
RuPaul: Host of RuPaul's Dragrace (as seen on tv), star of Starrbooty, and singer of Supermodel
She influences my love of interesting as well as high fashion. She also fuels my passion and love for life. Live as who you are and don't let anyone tell you how you should live or who you should love. Okay so I'm inspired by the immortal words of Jerry Herman, "I am what I am"... Like Ru, I myself have a signature laugh... well mine's more of a cackle.
Lady Bunny: Hostess, M.C. and Fashion Critic for the ragmags... as well as guest star in gay cinema. She inspires my crass sense of humor and word play. She's blunt, she honest, and she's fierce. Always has fabulously huge blond wigs that also inspire to be proud of my roots... my natural roots. I like to be naughty just as much as she does.
Tyra Banks: Host of the Tyra Banks show and supermodel
She has energy, she has fans, and she's a... real woman? Yup, she is, but her energy and enthusiam (as well as a huge supporter of the LGBT community). I recently saw the episode where she talked to Isis, the first transgender contestant on America's Next Top Model. Fantastic episode to be proud of who you are and that work and enginuity can pay off in the long run. Sometimes having fun means being crazy fun, Tyra is everything like that and more.
Amanda Lepore: (not sure what she's famous for, but) supermodel (i'm sure!)
Glamorous! A no-holds-bar babe. Transgenderified into the busty blond that we all know and love. (i say that because i've seen her in person before, crazy!) She inspires my need to be fabulous and glamorous... at all times! And to get professional photos of myself so I can promote myself as a drag star! ^_^
And of course...
Dame Edna: Australian Comedienne
The only lady that I have seen with naturally (she says) purple hair... no, not purple, lavender. From her fantastic trusso of costumes to her accent to her perfectly coiffed hair she is a lady... a lady I myself would love emulate when i walk out on stage. A marvellous sense of humor and such a character, I personally hope that I get to meet her before I can't.
So these are the ladies that have inspired me to be the lady that I am. Everyone has to have some kind of influence or idol. These ladies are a few of the fantastic ones that I have. Without them around I don't anyone in the world would be who they are without them.
In the end, you could say I'm a passionate, naughty, funny/energetic, glamorous, lady-like drag queen.
That's it for this exciting adventure into self-discovery. Until Next time!
So these lovely ladies are my influences as well as just plain fantastic. The majority of these ladies can be googled...
RuPaul: Host of RuPaul's Dragrace (as seen on tv), star of Starrbooty, and singer of Supermodel
She influences my love of interesting as well as high fashion. She also fuels my passion and love for life. Live as who you are and don't let anyone tell you how you should live or who you should love. Okay so I'm inspired by the immortal words of Jerry Herman, "I am what I am"... Like Ru, I myself have a signature laugh... well mine's more of a cackle.
Lady Bunny: Hostess, M.C. and Fashion Critic for the ragmags... as well as guest star in gay cinema. She inspires my crass sense of humor and word play. She's blunt, she honest, and she's fierce. Always has fabulously huge blond wigs that also inspire to be proud of my roots... my natural roots. I like to be naughty just as much as she does.
Tyra Banks: Host of the Tyra Banks show and supermodel
She has energy, she has fans, and she's a... real woman? Yup, she is, but her energy and enthusiam (as well as a huge supporter of the LGBT community). I recently saw the episode where she talked to Isis, the first transgender contestant on America's Next Top Model. Fantastic episode to be proud of who you are and that work and enginuity can pay off in the long run. Sometimes having fun means being crazy fun, Tyra is everything like that and more.
Amanda Lepore: (not sure what she's famous for, but) supermodel (i'm sure!)
Glamorous! A no-holds-bar babe. Transgenderified into the busty blond that we all know and love. (i say that because i've seen her in person before, crazy!) She inspires my need to be fabulous and glamorous... at all times! And to get professional photos of myself so I can promote myself as a drag star! ^_^
And of course...
Dame Edna: Australian Comedienne
The only lady that I have seen with naturally (she says) purple hair... no, not purple, lavender. From her fantastic trusso of costumes to her accent to her perfectly coiffed hair she is a lady... a lady I myself would love emulate when i walk out on stage. A marvellous sense of humor and such a character, I personally hope that I get to meet her before I can't.
So these are the ladies that have inspired me to be the lady that I am. Everyone has to have some kind of influence or idol. These ladies are a few of the fantastic ones that I have. Without them around I don't anyone in the world would be who they are without them.
In the end, you could say I'm a passionate, naughty, funny/energetic, glamorous, lady-like drag queen.
That's it for this exciting adventure into self-discovery. Until Next time!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Song, no title...
So i wrote a song based on a theme... not music but just a theme... I decided on break ups because that's what everyone deals with. they are love songs but no break-up songs... huh... anyway this puppy needs a title. Enjoy.
Even though
We're miles apart
I believe
I'm in your heart
You and I
We were just friends
And yet
We were more than that
And then when
I was in your arms
And we both
Were close and warm
We shared
That new romance
We were so close
And you gave me a chance
And when I cry at night
I know you are crying too
But when the time is right
You know I will love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But if we let it and try
I'll fly to you
Although
You said you didn't feel
Anymore
Well I still do
You and I
We were something special
And yet
We were more than friends
And then when
You put an end to it all and
My world
Crumbled around me when
Our worlds
That once collided are
Now departed and
I will never give you a chance!
And when I cry at night
I know you are crying too
But when the time is right
You know I will love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But if we let it and try
I'll fly to you
But if it's all wrong
And you ask to come back
I will, but it might not be strong
Why do I feel this pain
Like the time so far long
And far ago, I'll come back
But I won't love you that so long
Memories of that October remain
And when I cry at night
I know you're crying too
But when you feel right
You know I still love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But when the time is right
And in that deep dark night
And if we let it and try
Even if I should die
I'll fly to you
Even though
We're miles apart
I believe
I'm in your heart
You and I
We were just friends
And yet
We were more than that
And then when
I was in your arms
And we both
Were close and warm
We shared
That new romance
We were so close
And you gave me a chance
And when I cry at night
I know you are crying too
But when the time is right
You know I will love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But if we let it and try
I'll fly to you
Although
You said you didn't feel
Anymore
Well I still do
You and I
We were something special
And yet
We were more than friends
And then when
You put an end to it all and
My world
Crumbled around me when
Our worlds
That once collided are
Now departed and
I will never give you a chance!
And when I cry at night
I know you are crying too
But when the time is right
You know I will love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But if we let it and try
I'll fly to you
But if it's all wrong
And you ask to come back
I will, but it might not be strong
Why do I feel this pain
Like the time so far long
And far ago, I'll come back
But I won't love you that so long
Memories of that October remain
And when I cry at night
I know you're crying too
But when you feel right
You know I still love you
And then when you cry
I'm probably crying too
But when the time is right
And in that deep dark night
And if we let it and try
Even if I should die
I'll fly to you
Monday, May 18, 2009
Updates: New Beginnings, New Shows, New Job
So a lot has happened since my last post.
First of all a group of friends and some old teachers of mine planned on doing a show! I was invited to do a role. Unfortunately it's a straight male role, but it's a fun straight male role, so I'm not too disappointed. The show is Urinetown and it's a hillirious Broadway show. I suggest you all Youtube it. It's got complicated chorus bits.
I got a new job at an ice cream store. The place is called Sweet Tooth and its nestled in the center of our small down town. It's cute and I've only had two shifts. A funny story, I couldn't scoop properly until the second day; since after my first shift I was panicing: I wasn't doing it right, I'm failing big time, I'm not learning fast enough, WOW, this bites the big one... etc. So far I've only had a couple of training shifts which were weirdly calm and stressful at the time, which I'm not stranger to, honestly I'm an odd zen-like person.
As for new beginnings, I've found someone that I'd like to be dating, but deep down something in me doesn't want to start something. More on that later. But he's nice, genuine, inviting... and appealing despite what some people may seem. Honestly his picture don't do him any justice. He has a wicked sense of humour, which i admire greatly.
Sometimes though I don't know if my feelings are purely love, or lust. I mean the majority of my relationships are purely sex-based. I mean a man can be the most beautiful man in the world... and I either totally blow it by sounding desperate or not sounding interested enough. I really just don't understand how relationships go. But DO we understand how relationships work? Or is it just some huge delusion of something we feel (men mostly) in our pelvises that makes us think it's love, but once we satisfy it, all it is is just one big messy affair? Or maybe it's just simple, and I'm over analyzing. I have done that a lot. I think that's the downfall of my relationships... and lack of communication. I think I'm giving him space, but then he likes it when I talk to him... Men are complicated sons of bitches.
More updates are soon to follow, but as a wind up to this one: I'm in a show that has to do with peeing, I'm hopefully going to be working full time this summer, AND I may be starting a relationship, but I'm not holding out for anything. Oh! and I almost forgot that I haven't heard anything from university, wether or not I'm in or out of second year. That's just the cherry on top of a beautiful beginning to summer. YAY! O_o *twitch*
Until next time...
First of all a group of friends and some old teachers of mine planned on doing a show! I was invited to do a role. Unfortunately it's a straight male role, but it's a fun straight male role, so I'm not too disappointed. The show is Urinetown and it's a hillirious Broadway show. I suggest you all Youtube it. It's got complicated chorus bits.
I got a new job at an ice cream store. The place is called Sweet Tooth and its nestled in the center of our small down town. It's cute and I've only had two shifts. A funny story, I couldn't scoop properly until the second day; since after my first shift I was panicing: I wasn't doing it right, I'm failing big time, I'm not learning fast enough, WOW, this bites the big one... etc. So far I've only had a couple of training shifts which were weirdly calm and stressful at the time, which I'm not stranger to, honestly I'm an odd zen-like person.
As for new beginnings, I've found someone that I'd like to be dating, but deep down something in me doesn't want to start something. More on that later. But he's nice, genuine, inviting... and appealing despite what some people may seem. Honestly his picture don't do him any justice. He has a wicked sense of humour, which i admire greatly.
Sometimes though I don't know if my feelings are purely love, or lust. I mean the majority of my relationships are purely sex-based. I mean a man can be the most beautiful man in the world... and I either totally blow it by sounding desperate or not sounding interested enough. I really just don't understand how relationships go. But DO we understand how relationships work? Or is it just some huge delusion of something we feel (men mostly) in our pelvises that makes us think it's love, but once we satisfy it, all it is is just one big messy affair? Or maybe it's just simple, and I'm over analyzing. I have done that a lot. I think that's the downfall of my relationships... and lack of communication. I think I'm giving him space, but then he likes it when I talk to him... Men are complicated sons of bitches.
More updates are soon to follow, but as a wind up to this one: I'm in a show that has to do with peeing, I'm hopefully going to be working full time this summer, AND I may be starting a relationship, but I'm not holding out for anything. Oh! and I almost forgot that I haven't heard anything from university, wether or not I'm in or out of second year. That's just the cherry on top of a beautiful beginning to summer. YAY! O_o *twitch*
Until next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)