Interview with my personalities 1

Interview with my personalities. A time where I sit down and ask questions to my other selves.

Today I shall interview: Cranky Bitch and Miss Perfect

Danni: Hey, there CB, how are you today?

Cranky Bitch Danni: Jump off a muther fucking cliff! I'm fine, what's it to you?

D: Well, just wanting to ask you a few questions.

CBD: I'm not in the fucking mood!

D: Too bad! What do you usually do on your weekends?

CBD: ...I'm called Cranky Bitch, what do you THINK I do?

D: Point taken. What do you usually like to wear?

CBD: Whatever the hell I want to wear and nobody's gonna tell me what to wear.

D: You seem cranky about something, CB.

CBD: Thank you, Captain Obvious! I'm always cranky about something! If it isn't my ex-boyfriend not talking to me at all these days, it's the fact that I'm not getting any, or the guys that I meet are complete and utter whores who'd rather i touch their privates so they can feel fucking alive again! So don't you DARE tell me that I'm cranky about something, when obviously I AM cranky about something!

D: When do you usually like to come out.

CBD: Meh, whenever I'm the mood.

D: How does now sound?

CBD: I just ranted and I'm booked up with meeting Sarcasm for a while. Take a number.

D: Speaking of Sarcasm, are you friends with any other personalities?

CBD: Oh yeah, yeah. I'm buds with Sarcasm... I like to have tea with Diva and Queen of the Universe. I play pranks on Goody Goody with Impster. And I like to trade stories with Whine'n' Cheeze once in a while. She whines way to much. and Hopping Mad, Insanity, and Angry Horny and me like to hang out once in a while. Phony PMS is fun, but she doesn't show up nowadays. I think she went and commited suicide.

D: What do you think about Miss Perfect?

CBD: She always pisses me off. S'cuse me I got a headache, and I have better things to do. (leaves.)

D: O_O

Miss Perfect: Oh my goodness. May I help you?

D: Cranky Bitch didn't finish the interview.

MP: Oh my word! That is perfectly horrible! Here let us finish this interview on a perfect note.

D: Well, Miss Perfect. Tell me, who are you're friends?

MP: I enjoy spending time with Lil' Miss Princess, Madam Imagination, FrouFrou, and Diva on her good days.

D: What are your thoughts on a few people who aren't your friends.

MP: I only have a bad opinion on Mama Organizer (my mother) and Ms. Sloppy (my sister). Mamma likes to keep things in order and arrange everything while Sloppy likes to make a mess of everything. She never cleans up after herself and I think they are both perfectly horrid!

D: I think I hit a nerve.

MP: No, no, I'm perfectly fine.

D: What makes you unique?

MP: Well, I like to have everything perfect. My hair must be in order, my outfit must suit my liking and the man i meet must be charming, well groomed and funny...

D: Kinda anal, aren't you?

MP: It's what makes me perfectly unique my dear! Well I must run, I have to clean my room to perfection before my boyfriend arrives.

D: Oh, who is he?

MP: Butch.

Until next time...

Chinese Proverb

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.

One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of itsaccomplishments.
But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its ownimperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After 2 years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to thewoman one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not bethis beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

To all of my crackpot friends, have a great dayand remember to smell the flowers, on your side of the path.

Danni