Drag Event part 2

The following week was hell week. My decision at the end of this story will hopefully be justified, but if not, I hope to put things into perspective.

I had arrived along with my drag mother on time. We were made up and I observed as she put on her face. She took me through the step by step when she made me up, but I could actually see it when she made herself up.

While doing so we discussed certain person she told me to avoid imitating. I was intimidated by the knowledge work and persperation she explained with exact detail. She lived drag, she was drag... a true rising star. To this day I hope she reaches the hieghts she so incredibly worked for. I hope for myself to reach my own hieghts in my own career.

The show went on... I was first. Barefoot in a floorlength midnight blue gown, red curls on ivory shoulders, a belly-dancers belt at my waist I stepped onstage of the masterpiece that soon fell apart before my eyes. I lost the shoes that my drag mother gave me, my waits was small and my belt was too big and fell... It was removed only to distract the choreography.

The song once again was an unknown arbian-crossover pop tune by Sarah Brightman. Harem. This didn't seem to be accepted well and I felt I made a fool of myself. I, shame ridden, left the stage. It was obvious why they selected me to be first in the line-up.

That night I lost the man I loved... or there was a part of it that lead to the several steps that would essentially have me lose the man I loved... suspicion is a harsh criminal and I feel in my heart I may not have loved him as I thought I did and I wanted to die in my shameful night.

I do not use this night to judge my experience, but I hope to return to that stage where I had so started a horrible debut, but I feel I have ruined my chances and will follow my original passion. Although it will always be a talent. I will always be who I am and be what I want to be. I will revolutionize the world and make a change for people like me.

I don't think it is Drag itself that I am aiming for. Maybe it's something greater, something skin deep that makes me who I am. I await the day I discover what true potential lies hidden in me. I long for love as well as any other human being does as well...