Aside from the best things in life, like living and playing the game of life, lots of things have changed. Apparently going back to my roots has helped... I feel just as young, happy, and naive as I was when I sixteen. Scary.
My job is fantastic, I'm earning money, I'm working on a show that goes one in a few weeks, it's really coming together, we're going to be rehearsing in the theatre, I'm going back to Vancouver, to school, to friends, to home. To live.
First of all, selecting my future courses to return to the city where my heart belongs and my soul live, was thrilling. The future looks bright and happy. Reuniting with my old new friends from school. I miss them all, and love them all so much. Like a family. It hopefully means that I'm over whatever depression I was going through. After I broke off with number 3 everything was dark, morbid, and frightening.
But then reconnecting with some old friends from decades ago has helped. I forgotten how close we were since back in the day and how much I love to laugh and no matter how much crap hits the fan, as it usually does in life, I could always talk to them and I would feel better. Let me tell you about my friday.
Remember the one straight friend I told you about? The one who said that if he were gay he would totally date me? Well, after a year, I think we both changed. For starters, aside from gaining a few pounds (I regret to write this unfortunate turn of events, but he's still sweet) is engaged to his girlfriend of 19 months. Words cannot describe how happy I was to hear this.
We met up at a store and laughed at a lot of the corny birthday cards and some of the really naughty ones too. Then we went to the larger part of town and went to have coffee. There he reconfirmed his previous statement to his passionate romance with me, were that his orientation different. He claimed even that he would "play along" if I introduced him as my boyfriend.
As if by fate, another old friend, who is doing really well nowadays, walked in. Now was my chance to call his bluff. I introduced him... and he played very well. He was naughty, witty, affectionate and I just played along with him. Afterwards I thanked him and told him he didn't have to raise his voice pitch.
Afterwards we went to the beach and pretty much talked openly about everything. The proposal, the soon to be wedding plans, sex, love and knowing. There's nothing like knowing. Knowing is when know something... obviously. Like, knowing when to say I love you, knowing when love is actually love... knowing what love is. Knowing is something I think I lack.
Near the end, I said "There are times that are really bad, but there are times when you feel really good... this is one of those good times" or something like that. To be honest I envy his engagement, but I can't help to feel overjoyed for the both of them. His words are in my heart and I feel a joy I have never felt before. To the one who shares my love of pugs, thank you.
Until next time... please spread the love... -D
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