An Interview with the Elephant in the Room

We all know its there, wether its an awkward moment, awkward silence, someone passing gass, someone burping, anything. We know you did it so own up.

As human beings we try to avoid awkward silences... the funny thing is that we remember those moments. Those are times of extreme bondage; well times when we bond a lot more than we usually would.

Anyway, why is it we always try to avoid these situations?

I'll tell you why. That's when this metaphorical, proverbial elephant in the room appears. And he enjoys watching people squirm.

I had a chance to sit down with Elephant In the Room and we shared some rather interesting moments together ourselves. Here is our conversation as it happened, taped recorded.

Danni: Whose there?

Elephant: It's me!

D: Oh! Thank god, for a minute I thought you were a burgler. If I hadn't seen the pink spots I wouldn't have recognized you.

E: That's fine.

D: So what's new?

E: You know me. I always love a party, just got back from this bush party.

D: What happened?

E: Well some guy, keep in mind he was plastered beyond helping, said he could jump over the campfire that they built. Bonfire more like. Well as it happens he cleared the fire landed on a conviniently place branch that was leaning on a rock, where, when he landed, sent a piece of the branch flying into the air, knocking some jock guy in the hair and knocking his girlfriend unconcious.

D: Then what happened?

E: Turns out she was a blond air head. Afterwards she was taken to the hospital, where the doctors asked what happened. They didn't say the whole story but still, there I was, clear as day. They all knew what happened.

D: Hahaha! Well, that's completely awkward. Hope she was okay.

E: She had a few stitches, thing is she didn't get homecoming queen.

D: Let me guess, you went to prom?

E: Yep, made an appearance there too.

D: Where is your favorite place to be?

E: Anywhere, where there's a crowd... airports are the best. One time there was this guy caught with a friends suitcase, thing is there was probably 50 pounds of cocain, poorly masked with cologne I might add. This guy had the suitcase, with no idea about the cocain. His friend had the other bag. So the guy is sniffed out by the dogs and he gets questioned. Meanwhile, the friend, the real culprit, booked it onto the plane.

D: Uh oh.

E: The kicker is that it was the guy who got caught's idea. HAH!

D: You're drunk aren't you?

E: Yeah, but the real kicker is this is all a dream.

D: What?

Okay so appearantly I had this crazy dream with this weird elephant dude, and it was kinda weird and awkward, but it made me thing. I think at some point I actually got around to asking him why we all avoid awkward silences and stuff. He told me it's because we live off of this thrill of being scared. People like that high feeling of adrenaline, and REALLY awkward moments are what give us that rush of adrenaline.

There are better ways to getting that thrill, such as jumping out of an airplane or boxing three matches with a punch-crazy kangaroo. What I'm saying is don't be afraid of awkward moments, live off of them like a steroid-hungry body builder... or a anarexic-starved supermodel, whatever gets you there.

Until next time...